DO NO HARM.

The second is,

DO ONLY GOOD.

The third is,

DO GOOD FOR OTHERS.

These are called the Three Pure Precepts. They are the basis for all other moral teachings, and by themselves clearly tell us how to live a good life. But sometimes we need more specific advice, so beyond these come the Ten Great Precepts:

Not killing

All killing brings suffering. The ant and the dandelion love life, as we do. Well, maybe not as we do, but as an ant and dandelion do, which is something we cannot do, and so is completely precious. Not killing is about the absolute preciousness of every being, large or small. It is about physical lives, which most animals and some plants cannot help taking, just to stay alive. And it is about ways of being, which sometimes we kill by ridicule or neglect.

A blue jay once told me, God needs many eyes to see the world. That's why it is better not to kill. Each eye sees the world differently, and all that seeing together makes the world as big and wonderful as it is.

Not stealing

This means not to take what isn't given. As we look around us, we see how much stealing is taken for granted in our world—and how much suffering it brings. Respecting others and practicing generosity are the cures for stealing.

What about picking an apple from a tree? Does the tree give, or do we steal? What about digging up a garden that was formerly a playground for mice and toads and grasshoppers? These are hard questions. Meanwhile, share your cassettes with your friends and don't snatch the comics from your brother.

Not saying what isn't true

Everything we say reflects some truth, even when our "no, I didn't" means "I'm afraid you'll yell at me if I tell you I spilled pudding on your sweater." One reason we practice being still inside is that telling the truth isn't easy. When we're little children we can be mixed up about what's really true and what is just our wish or our fear. When we're grown up, we can be mixed up about what's really true and what's just our wish or our fear. The stronger our wish or the more terrible our fear, the harder it is to stay clear about the truth.

When we don't tell the truth, we suffer, and all those around us suffer. Distrust and confusion come immediately, with fear and anger close behind. That all of us together can do the right thing in any situation, we rely on each other to be truthful.

Not misusing sex

This means we respect each other's bodies. We do not touch each other in ways that feel bad. We do not touch each other in ways that feel good for the moment but lead to feeling bad later. We are careful and loving and respectful of ourselves and others in all our touching. When people have promised to love each other, as in a marriage, we do not weaken their promise. We postpone sexual expression until we have developed our friendship and love for another so deeply that we make our own promise together.

It is easy to be confused, especially as we get older, by our desires for touching. To prevent suffering for ourselves and others, we make the effort to get clear about what is really healthy and respectful. We learn to be committed to that, and to avoid the rest.

Not using drugs

Every situation in life is at once very simple and very complicated, so it can be quite difficult to see clearly what causes suffering and what does not. If we use drugs, it becomes even more difficult to see clearly. All the things we practice to help us see clearly—meditation, patience, perseverance, compassion—slip away from us. By drugs, we mean not only alcohol or marijuana or pills, but anything that dulls the mind and makes us seek after it even when it doesn't feel right. It can be TV or talking too much or crossword puzzles. Always it is what numbs us, takes us out of the present, and prevents us from fully feeling what is happening right now and responding with appropriate action to that.

Not speaking against others

In every group of people—whether a family, a school, a neighborhood, a meditation center, a few friends—two things are needed: trust and what we might call "open problems." Open problems means stating openly any difficulty we're having to the other person—and being open to solving it together, each giving to the other some needed change. We all know that when we criticize another person behind their back, trust goes immediately. One reason we do it anyway is that "open problems" is scary. It's easier to complain to a third person, and if the trust is broken, open problems may become impossible. So we're off the hook—but at a terrible price.

Not speaking against others requires the willingness to see our part in our difficulty with other people, to speak our experience honestly, and to negotiate mutual change. The reward is the trust that keeps love growing.

Not praising yourself while abusing others

For our own self-esteem and the well-being of our friends and family, it is important that we remember that each of us is special. So we don't brag and we don't put other people down. We give up the easy gratification of "mine is better than yours"—and the insecurity that "yours is better than mine." No one is more important than you. You are no more important than any other being. Just like the seed in each compartment of the lotus pod, we are all equal. We want to cultivate the mindfulness that sees that equality all the time, throughout all our hours and actions. Then we can live happily together, enjoying each other's skills and achievements, benefiting from each other's goodness.

Not sparing the Dharma assets

This means a willingness to share. Whatever good life brings us, we gladly pass on to others. Maybe we give a certain percentage of our income to the hungry and homeless. Maybe we give a few hours a week to help the sick or the elderly. Maybe we help the forests by recycling and the rivers by writing letters in support of conservation laws. Not everything of value that life gives us is sunny and bright—sometimes our pain can be a gift too. We are called on to share not only material wealth, but also whatever helps us to understand and act rightly. We share our compassion and wisdom, our ideas and skills.

Not indulging in anger

Anger can be a great energy, giving the light to see what needs changing and the heat to change. But without great mindfulness, it is a destroyer. Everything in the universe has a building up phase, a static phase, and a breaking down phase. Anger can be taken as a signal for a breaking down stage. But what do we do with this signal? When anger uses us, we are destructive, sending waves of bad karma in all directions. When we befriend our anger carefully, our compassion and insight enable us to transmute bad karma into lovingkindness. Whatever we say or do to another, is said and done to us. Be very, very careful.

Not defaming the Three Treasures

Even if we are not Buddhists, we cannot live happily without honoring those who can show us how to live wisely. All people do not agree on the best way to live—indeed, we each must find our own path, unique to ourselves. But whoever and whatever teaches us and helps us follow our path in truth and integrity—that we each must honor. And we must offer respect to what helps others find their way, whether similar or different from our own. The great and vast truth of the universe in all its manifestations—how could we defame this? Look carefully to each thought, each word, each action—and grow the blossom of understanding. Enjoy the growing and blossoming of all the diverse beings around you, without whom you do not even exist.

There is a formal ceremony in which we are asked, after the reading of each precept, "Have you made an effort to study and practice this during the past two weeks?" To have the opportunity to do this ceremony with others is a great help. We can also make the same review on our own. Some people do this as a family ritual on each full moon night.

The precepts tell us how not to cause suffering. Always, suffering is related to being not fully present—clutching at an idea, rushing ahead to the future, lingering in the past. Not being awake to the needs of the present moment, which are completely unique, always changing, never repeated. When we're totally in the present, suffering disappears.

So the precepts are reminders of how to stay in the present—both self and others. How to keep yourself in the present, and how not to push anyone else out of it. How to enable yourself and all other beings to open up completely, not hiding anything anywhere. How you and all other beings can see and treat each other as absolutely sacred—as all the god there is. They're simply Buddha's Helpful Hints for Being Buddha.

But don't worry. Nobody's perfect.




Copyright © 1994 by Sandy Eastoak

From Dharma Family Treasures: Sharing Buddhism with Children, edited by Sandy Eastoak (Berkeley, Calif.: North Atlantic Books, 1994). Used by arrangement with the author.